


Who Fights With You

by SunsetScomiche



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie) Compliant, Bruce Banner Has Issues, Bruce Banner Needs a Hug, Fighting, Gen, I know right??, That never happens, Trust, team fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-13
Updated: 2017-09-13
Packaged: 2018-12-27 11:01:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,417
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12079746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunsetScomiche/pseuds/SunsetScomiche
Summary: "It's never me."





	Who Fights With You

**Author's Note:**

> So, I wrote this last summer and then I finished editing it late last year, but it sat on the back burner as far as posting for a long time, because I couldn't decide whether it was good enough to post. Now, I'm going through all of my work to create a sort of catalogue for future writing, and I've decided to share this one with you all. :)

It could have been even as early as the Battle of New York, when Hulk had thought it prudent to take on a whole fleet's worth of gunfire by himself.

It could have been the time in the forest, when he'd stared Natasha down, refusing to change back, to become the doctor she needed at sundown. Sure, it could have been then.

It could have been the time in the park when they were surrounded by hostiles, and Hulk had thrown Steve around like a ragdoll. Thor had only narrowly caught him in mid-air. So yeah, it could have been then.

It could have even been in the lab, when a minuscule amount of super-toxic chemical had poured right onto Bruce's hand while Tony had watched from the other desk. And when he'd rushed over to help, his fingers flying for a solution, and Bruce had vehemently, almost angrily forced him back, with a shout of _'Get the fuck away from me'_ that had finally pushed Tony off a little.

Yes, there had been any number of occasions on which the Avengers could have stopped and asked Bruce why he never seemed to trust them.

But, it had been this battle, today that had made them all stop, and start to talk.

 

Bruce had been fine, or so Tony had thought. Just strolling through the tower in his relaxed-looking, if god-awful pants.

What Tony didn't know was that this kind of behavior was reserved for days when Bruce really didn't have a lid on it.

So, when the call had come, _Imminent danger; Avengers needed_ , Tony hadn't expected Bruce to hesitate. No one had.

But when the Hulk had a two-ton hunk of rock in his hands, and he was hanging it over a building full of people with no plans of putting it down nicely, Tony wished they would have seen it from miles ahead.

In truth, he only got about 40 seconds. Four and a half to hear Steve over the comm — _"Hulk, what are you doing? That's not- Oh god, he's got civilians. Tony!_ "— Twenty-five and a half to jet-boost directly onto his coordinates, five to see Natasha and Clint zeroing in on the ground and rooftop at either side, and five to take him in. To see the anger, the pure, blood-boiling rage bound deep in the Hulk's bloodshot eyes. The muscles coiled tightly, every tendon and nerve screaming, ready to strike. The giant rock held just so above the open building, the non-existent roof just a gaping hole filled with screaming people.

Despite the sickening silence that the scene causes in Tony’s gut, Steve and Nat and Clint's voices are all filling his ears with pleas:

"Don't do it, Big Guy,"

"Hulk, drop the weapon,"

"I'm gonna give you to the count of three,"

and then Tony's own, "I know you're better than this, Big Guy..."

It all culminates when, despite all of their voices, all of their insistence, Hulk lifts his hands and steadies himself with all of them screaming louder and louder, his arms poised, and everyone yells,

"STOP!"

Hulk's head turns back; he faces them all of a sudden with surprise, and in that moment, Tony's heart nearly stops for good. What he sees, what they _all_ see nearly kills them.

It's Hulk, standing there, still holding the weapon above his head, still ready to strike, and then in a moment, it's Bruce, just in the eyes, shocked and afraid, and then heartbroken and absolutely sick with guilt.

He throws the boulder as far away as the river, a bellowing cry escaping along with it, and then bounds himself away before any of them can manage to say or do anything.

It's then, _this day_ when everyone returns to the tower with their tails tucked under, their prides broken, and their hearts sore. It's this day when everyone decides that it's finally time to talk about it.

 

Bruce enters the tower silently, his dirty, no-doubt borrowed clothes sagging off of him and his stature stiff with self-loathing and shame. He hangs his head, and for a moment, no one says a word.

Until Tony just can't take it anymore, and he says, brashly, "What the hell _was_ that?"

And Steve tries to correct him, to soften him. "Tony." But Tony really can't be bothered with it right now.

"No, I wanna know. We've spent weeks waiting to say this, and we're going to, but first- I wanna know. Bruce, what _was_ that?"

Tony's gaze is sharp and calculated, and for a moment, Bruce tries to pretend that it isn't being leveled at him. It doesn't work, and the stress of the scrutiny he's getting makes him straighten, his muscles tensing again.

"I- I'm sorry, I just- I shouldn't have gone out. I was having problems, and- When we fought, I- I lost control-"

Tony's stare doesn't change. "You're damn right you did, you nearly killed half the city. No, I don't care _how_ right now, what I wanna know is _why_. Steve had that perimeter secure. You," he points out, but then he quickly corrects himself, " _Hulk_ knew that everyone was safe. The job was practically finished, and then you nearly _level the building?_ Are you kidding me? Bruce, what the-"

Everyone seems to grow tense when Bruce's shoulders slump and his hand runs down along his face. "I'm sorry, Tony. I lost control- I tried to fight him, but- It didn't work."

Tony's gaze seems almost bewildered now, a perfect juxtaposition to Steve's relentless pity and Natasha and Clint's solemn quiet.

"But why? We were all right there, Bruce. You didn't even say anything-"

"Because I couldn't! There was nothing you could have done. I didn't- I didn't think it would get this bad." He purses his lips, shoves his hand into one of the oversized pockets of his pants. "But it has."

There's a moment where no one says anything, and then Tony somehow finds a way to finally break the silence.

"Why can't you just trust us when the time comes? We're laying it all out on the line, risking our lives-"

Clint seems to tense even more then, the thoughts of his family practically permeating the air in the room. This space with them is the only place where he can let that happen. Bruce knows that, and it makes him sick to think he's tainted it this way.

He tries to cut through Tony's speech, cut to the chase, to the real problem here. "That's just it, Tony, you-"

Tony's defensive in the face of it, as always. His gaze looks almost confused as he fires back a quick, "What?"

Bruce just continues, tries to pretend Tony didn't interrupt him. "You never know what's gonna happen next, who's going to get killed or maimed or God knows what, and— You never _know_ , Tony-"

Tony's reply cuts sharp through his resolve and it makes the doctor look at him. His eyes are ablaze and he's speaking rapid-fire now. He gets like this when he's been set off. He spouts words of courage and bravery like it's easy.

"I know everything's going to be alright when I go out there, because I fight back. I go out there and I do what's best for my city and I don't think twice about-"

"Yeah, but that's _you_ out there in that suit," Bruce growls back angrily, nostrils flared and temples pressing against his skull. This thing has been weighing on him since well before day one, and by now he's had just about all he can take. "Every time you go out there and fight, it's _you_ in the costume. It's _you_ behind the armor. The guy that goes out there and fights with you... That's not me."

It's quiet in the room now, all eyes on him. His chest deflates. He feels empty.

"It's never me."

He looks up for a brief second, and Tony is staring at him like he could come apart. As if the scientist across the room could split him in half and examine every part of him. He's not sure just how that makes him feel. He wants to analyze it, find out. He looks away instead.

Steve opens his mouth like he's going to say something, and Bruce just turns, and walks away. _What can they say that will change how it is? Nothing._

He has his bags packed and he's out by morning. Of course, no one says anything.

**Author's Note:**

> Aaaah, I hope I didn't hurt anyone too badly. I hate reading sad Bruce fic, but he is such an interesting character to dive into. Leave me a comment to chat about it, or come visit me on [tumblr](https://sunsetscomiche.tumblr.com/). <3


End file.
